As I sit and reminisce on the past of my life, while the air is filled with angelic harmony and aspiration. It is a beautiful day, a day that appears to be jaunty, soothing and in a way comforting. The lovely ide of day is interrupted by a tranquil memory, the type, which when evoked I ruminate by gazing in. Yes, the recollection which one always hopes to return to, as well as would wish on others who are going through the season before victory and joy.
I remember the shadows before the joy, the grey of my life before sunlight sprung in to it. The grey shadows of my life were as wet and taciturn as mid-winter rain mixed with slush, interrupting by force with their cold sentiments not only my comfort, but transforming everything around to the affairs at hand. I scarcely have returned from a 15 month tour to Iraq, when the grey entered my life. The unforgiving wind of reality, which comes with a diagnosis of brain trauma set in. I have also returned with a torn rotator cuff in my left shoulder; torn meniscus in the left knee; other (unknown) problems in my right knee; crushed and degenerative lover back discs; loss of short term memory among other diagnosis and problems.
The prelude to the glorious event started sometime during the mid-day of a spring month of 2008. My pregnant wife and I were in our car driving over the Peaceful Valley and the Spokane River on Maple Street Bridge; which spans over at a length of 1708 feet. The vehicle ahead of us was an older classic; as I directed my attention towards it, there was a flash and a bang of a back fire. I then recognized that I was returning back to the now from a flashback from a moment of my past. As I inhaled another moment of a new dawn in depression, a silent fatigue commences on me. It’s like I was lugging a heavy pack and another load was added to my already drooping shoulders.
I drove to a beautiful place, where one can observe an evergreen valley, at the bottom of it was a spring tide filled river gloriously flowing. The day was surprisingly still for a spring season, although there was a leaden overcast. I will never overlook the remembrance of standing on the headland bluff overlooking the valley, then I looked in to the sky. Likewise, I looked back at my wife, who was sitting in the car; thinking she is so young, but married to a disabled and crippled individual. I thought how disadvantaged I will be at taking care of my family and how invalid I will be in the eyes of my son.
At this moment I recall, how I lifted my eyes, then my face towards the sky and without opening my lips I heard my inner soul scream- “God, if you really can hear me; take my life and give her a new husband or save me”!
Just then, a small wind picked up. Sudden rays of sunlight broke through the overcast, then I felt arms come around me in a hug. Then this most pleasant, warm and bolstering warmth went from top to bottom of my body. The only thoughts going through me were, Jesus, Love and Healing. There I am, one who was an unbeliever, a rebel who would do outmost to stay away from Christians and never spilled a tear in his life; standing with tears flowing freely. Seeing the world in a different color, with brightness in his heart and full knowledge that I have just been hugged by God.
Consequently, I was fully healed from all impairments, as well as fully restored from psychological injuries. To many, my healing and change of behavior became testimony of Gods power. To date, many prayers have been answered, many miracles have been witnessed by both my wife and I, as well as my two boys. Another miracle in our life is our one year old daughter Eliana, which means in Hebrew, my God has answered me.
The healing in my life was a step God has taken towards me, although I have never taken steps towards Him. For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost. In Mathew 18:11-13 Jesus compares Himself to a Good Shepherd who will go out of His way to find one lost sheep.
How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?
And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray
I am humbled by the fact, that while I was a rebel, and by no one but my own fault I strayed, he came in to my living hell to save me.
After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. Isaiah 53:11
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11